Ritual, Memory, and Meaning-Making in Healing After Perinatal Loss
By Dr. Solimar Santiago-Warner, LCSW, PMH-C
At Solmaterna Psychotherapy & Consulting, we honor the truth that grief after perinatal loss is not something to "get over." Instead, grief becomes something we carry, something woven into our identities as parents, partners, and families. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means creating space for ritual, memory, and meaning-making. These practices allow us to integrate loss into our lives with tenderness, dignity, and resilience.
The Power of Narrative in Grief
Storytelling is one of the most ancient tools humans have for survival and healing. For parents who experience stillbirth, miscarriage, or neonatal death, being able to tell the story of their baby—and the story of their love—becomes a profound act of recognition.
Narrative therapy reminds us that grief is not linear, and feminist psychology pushes back against the cultural idea that parents should “move on.” At Solmaterna, we help families reclaim the right to narrate their loss outside of normative timelines, with compassion and without judgment.
Ritual as Healing Practice
Rituals anchor grief in the body and give expression to what words cannot hold. Parents may find solace in creating personalized rituals such as:
Writing letters to their baby
Planting a tree or tending to a garden
Lighting a candle on anniversaries or special dates
Engaging in body-based practices like mindful breathing, yoga, or hand-to-heart grounding
These acts can be both private and communal, helping families connect to cultural traditions, spirituality, or their own unique ways of making meaning.
Memory-Making Through Symbols and Keepsakes
Cultural symbolism and memorial practices offer ways to continue bonds with the baby who has died. For some, photography becomes an archive of love. For others, holding onto hospital blankets, ultrasound images, or naming ceremonies provides a tangible reminder that their child’s life mattered.
Feminist and womanist psychology emphasize that these practices are not indulgent—they are necessary. They resist a culture that too often silences reproductive loss, instead affirming that love does not end when life ends.
Creating New Memorials Together
At Solmaterna, we invite parents to imagine new memorials that feel authentic:
A ritual of writing and releasing letters into water or fire
A photo book that celebrates pregnancy and connection
Jewelry or tattoos that symbolize their child’s presence
Community rituals that honor cultural traditions of mourning and remembrance
These practices root grief in continuing bonds rather than disconnection, helping families weave their child into the fabric of their lives.
Honoring Grief Without Deadlines
Healing after perinatal loss is lifelong. There is no expiration date on grief, love, or remembrance. Feminist psychology teaches us to resist the cultural pressure to “move on” quickly and instead to validate long-term mourning as a natural and necessary part of parenting after loss.
At Solmaterna, we walk alongside families as they create meaning, reclaim ritual, and honor memory in ways that reflect their identities, histories, and hopes.
If you are navigating perinatal loss, know this: your grief is valid, your rituals matter, and your love deserves space. You do not have to walk this path alone.
